Live Life With No Regrets!

There is a time to boast:

1. During job or performance interviews.
2. When you are selling your product.

In short, to win people over to the merits of yourself or your product.

The time to be humble:

1. When you are with your colleagues.
2. When admonishing others.
3. When examining yourself to improve yourself.
4. Before God.

Paradox? Hypocrisy? Or just the right action for the right time? Asian modesty errs on the side of modesty. American philosophy tends to incline more to salesmanship. The Bible says to "consider others better than ourselves."

I think the key is truth with love. During an interview, you shouldn't exaggerate facts until it becomes a lie. Just highlight truth. (Though of course, when an interviewer asks you what is your weakness, I don't think it's a good idea to tell them if you have a problem with flatulence...)

It may be the truth to tell what is right, but if it harms someone else, perhaps some things are better not left said, though it may be true.

The tough thing is to balance both. "Instead, speaking the TRUTH with LOVE, we will in all things grow up into him who is the head, that is Christ." A difficult thing to balance indeed, something that takes experience to learn when and how.

Posted by Nico at 2:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Guess not. What about Friendster, or Facebook or MySpace?

None whatsoever. Yet they are all successful.

If your product isn't good to be spread by mouth of word, it ain't good enough to be socially viral.

I think one of the key markers for a new-economy startup is that it must be so good that word-of-mouth recommendation is the one thing that will differentiate the winners from the losers.

If people don't want to recommend it, tweak and reinvent the product until it becomes so good that people will.

Impressing investors is good, and necessary to get initial funding. But the key indicator of your success is whether people like it.

I've been in a couple of startups and seen too much from the Internet bubble days seeing people spend millions of dollars on advertising down the drain.

The new economy's rules are different and so are the marketing methods.

Posted by Nico at 2:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

When I play with "normal folk"... I wouldn't say that I always win, but I do win often.

But when you play against people with the top 2% of IQ in the population, it's a different matter all together. Now, it must be mentioned that I'm a member of this organization as well. But, the thing is, it's my first time playing at Mensa and I'm not accustomed to the speed of thinking.

(Okay, I admit, I lost all of my games.)

I was totally amazed at how some could grasp the properties of a game very quickly and could devise strategies almost off the cuff to take advantage of situations.

And when you lose, there can be very clear winners. Winning not just by a point or two or merely beating you by 5% of the total score. There can be winners winning by a margin of 100% or even 200%!

Again, game playing isn't just having fun. It's also a learning experience in a safe environment where the consequences are limited till the end of the session. I learnt from a remark that I "cut off my nose to spite my face" in making a game decision. Reflecting back, yes, sometimes I do that in real life. I'd rather forsake some of my own interests not to give an advantage to another. I like that kind of feedback. I should remember what are my own interests are, despite temporarily giving advantage to another.

I'm also pretty good at reading rules and explaining it simply. Perhaps not just because of my intelligence, but also because of my ambition to be a game designer and my experience in playing board games and public speaking skills. But I have to learn to be quicker in devising a strategy to win.

Playing at a Mensa session, you are really humbled. But also, you know that you still have certain skills and gifts that others don't have, despite their intelligence. This was my second time at Mensa, and I really enjoyed the level of conversation, and talking to people ranging in profession from engineers to teachers to non-profit organization workers to students. They're not diabolical evil geniuses with designs to dominate the world. (Of course, there are exceptions to every rule. I heard Bill Gates is reported to have an IQ of 165.)

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Originally uploaded by nicodemus_chan.

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You don't need to change the world like Bill Gates or Thomas Edison.

Sergey Brin and Larry Page didn't set out to make Google the super success that it was. If it had happened another way, they could have just been a division of Excite.

Bill Gates wanted to have a business advantage but he too never imagined Microsoft to be as large as it is now.

There is success and there is huge success. I think that huge success is more a matter of the right circumstances and decisions turning your way. But reasonable success, I believe, is about good stewardship. If you have reasonable success, then you will be ready when huge success comes to you.

The point is, you can't aim to be a Google or a Microsoft. You have to aim to be faithful in serving customers profitably and coming up with a great product or service. You can aim big, you can aim to be a global leader. But success still comes from the Lord. That's because we don't know what's around the corner.

If only Apple knew that the key to success was actually licensing it's OS, then 95% of us may be using Apple computers today. If only failed search engines knew that the key wasn't going the portal way, but in better search and in directed ads, we may not calling Internet Search "Googling" but maybe "Excite-ing" or "Infosearch". These are the random decisions that could have shaped the landscape tremendously.

The day that Google IPO'ed was just another day for Larry and Sergey. They walked into the same office, and they're overnight billionaires. So what? That wasn't their goal. They were already doing what they liked doing.

I think that a reasonable business goal for a startup is perhaps a 1 to 5 million dollars (by today's standards. That's like selling $200 products to 5000 to 25,000 customers). For hugely wild success, a lot depends on circumstances and taking advantage of opportunities. Do what you like to do most of all.

Aiming high is good but overreaching your ability is also unwise. Take each day as it comes, yet plan for tomorrow and the years to come.

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14072007358
Originally uploaded by nicodemus_chan.

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So I put my research and writing skills to work and wrote up an article respectively for Donna Ong and Namiko Chan.

The thing I learnt about writing these articles was that there are REALLY things about them that you didn't know. And that perhaps you don't really know your friends at all. And that they're actually more notable than you think.

Like Namiko. I knew that she was an artist, but I didn't know she had just won the UOB Painting of the Year Award. Holy Canoly! And to think I still remember her as that law undergraduate staying just one level below me in University. She was a great artist even then, designing our block t-shirt. And to think, that I threw away a "Namiko original". Wonder what it would be worth now?

Donna was introduced to me as an artist, but little did I know she was awarded the maximum amount for a scholarship to study art. And had won numerous art competitions. But then again, perhaps people are merely modest.

I learnt quite a bit. I knew that they were both notable artists in their own right, I learnt about the awards that they had won. I learnt their hobbies, their experiences, the schools they attended, what their fears, hopes and joys are represented in their works.

If you had to write an article on Wikipedia about your spouse, family or friends, what would you write? Would you even know enough to write an article about them? Do you know what their achievements have been in life?

But what else could I take from this experience? That the people you meet will be the famous people of tomorrow. That 10 year old nephew of yours playing with the toy soldiers? He could be the next minister of defence. That the girl next door who likes drawing could be a famous artist. "Do not despise the day of small beginnings."

Finally, not just other people, ALL OF US. Including you. Believe in yourself. Do you like drawing? Or telling stories? Or entertaining your parents with your antics? Or planning, or assembling things together? These are the seeds of greatness waiting to be nurtured.

Posted by Nico at 2:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Most decisions must be made beforehand. You cannot wait till that situation comes and then you think about it.

For example, if you haven't decided what time you want to wake up in the morning...

INT. YOUR BEDROOM - 7AM

You are fast asleep on your bed when the alarm clock starts 
blaring its wake up call.

                                YOU
            Hmm... 7am... I wonder whether I can sleep in?
                        (beat)
            I do have to do get my laundry from the washing machine.
                        (beat)
            But this bed feels so nice...
                        (beat)
            ...zzzz...

That is just an innocent example. What would happen if you get in a compromising position of being tempted? A hot beautiful sexy woman appears in your bedroom? You'll probably only have 2 clear seconds to think before other parts of your body start doing your thinking for you.

What happens when you are being stressed? Someone begins to say something that is sure to push your buttons? Again, you may only have a second or two before your emotions start to rush in and take over.

That's one of the reasons why quiet time is important, it prepares you for the decisions both large and small that will come about during the coming days, weeks, months and years ahead. When you read the Bible about Joshua or about Joseph, learn about the principles on which they made their decisions and practice in your mind the same things.

Posted by Nico at 6:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

"...enable your servants to speak your word with boldness." (Acts 4:29)

"...but the righteous are as bold as a lion." (Proverbs 28:1)

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged. For the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9)

Why is it that there are definitely much better singers than Madonna, yet she is the one who is more successful?

I realize that a lot of good, able and competent people don't get ahead, not because they are less skillful but because they aren't bold enough.

We must be bold enough to market ourselves, to sell ourselves, to spread the word about the message of us.

80-90% of adults live with negative self-talk in their minds. Voices that say "you aren't good enough", "you'll screw up again", "you're just lucky that time", etc.

We must be bold in life. The apostles didn't pray that things around them would automagically turn out "happily ever after" rather they prayed for boldness in facing the challenges ahead of them.

Boldness is a mark of the righteous.

But how do we get boldness? Is it a matter of just repeating "I am bold" to myself and hoping you'll believe it enough that your behaviour will change? Maybe that is part of the transformation process.

The Idiot's Guide To Assertiveness doesn't give all the answers to it, but it does give a few pointers:

Know Your Priorities: Know what is important to you. Think through what is really important to your mission in life. Just 3-5 things. Not a laundry list of 19 things.

Respect the position and feelings of the other parties involved. Will your speaking up improve the situation of make it worse?

Remain in balance. You don't have to overreact and cause other people to be knocked off balance.

How? Proceed with malice towards none. Act with concern towards other people not out of hatred or impatience.

When? Make a time check. Ask yourself, "How will I feel about the situation tomorrow, in one hour, or in even five minutes?" If it is something that will pass quickly, you can let it go. Else, then it is good reason for you to speak up.

Use positive self-talk to yourself and on others.

Know who you are. Know your limits. Be optimistic.

Exercises on being self-confident in social situations:
1. Smile at someone you don't know.
2. Focus intently on what another person is saying.
3. Volunteer for something away from work. That way you'll learn that people do appreciate you.
4. Make a minor request from someone you barely know. The more easily you're able to make minor requests of strangers. The more naturally you'll begin to make more significant requests of anyone.
5. Put yourself in a situation where you're likely to be rejected. Ask a friend to attend something which you know there is a low chance of them agreeing to. If so, wonderful. Else, learn to accept the response graciously.
6. When appropriate, tell a person "I'm not sure". Legitimately pleading ignorance helps free you from any potential feelings of always needing to have informative responses.

Posted by Nico at 5:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I was familiar with him way before I even knew it was him. He was one of the narrators of The Electric Company, narrating all sorts of educational stories.

His demeanour is the type you wish you had for a grandfather, someone who is kind, doting and likable.

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board game-king me
Originally uploaded by nicodemus_chan.

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02072007344
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That is a fate even worse than Babbitt that was quoted by Joseph Campbell (see blog entry), a person who never did what he wanted to in life.

And I think the Devil does get people to do that. He overworks people in the office for some measly promotion, pay raise or prestigious title but they sacrifice what they want to do (their dreams) and what they ought to do. (Their duty to love themselves, their family and their fellow man).

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