Live Life With No Regrets!

I really admire Europeans because they emphasize quality of life, they don't spend too much time on overtime and go back to be with their families and spend summer holidays traveling or doing things they like doing.

I wonder whether the same goes for us here in Singapore.

Why work so long hours? So we can earn more money. Then why earn more money? So we can pay the bills and then be able to do the things we want to do.

So let's say we start out with a salary $3000 and then our salary doubles to $6000. Would we then spend more time with our families and doing the things we want to do? No, in fact we will spend roughly the same time at work or even more. Why? Because then our desire for more expensive things increases. Our costs increases.

So let's say our salary increases to $10000, $20000, $30000? Would we still spend more time with our families and doing the things we want to do? Surprisingly, I think that a majority of people will still spend even more time at work.

So if your earning power increases to $20000 from $10000 will you then spend only half-days at work and earn only $10000 and spend the rest of the time with your family, and enjoying your hobbies like reading, taking courses, etc.?

Of course we have to work. Work is good. And of course, there are obligations in life to fulfill, bills to pay, children to feed. However, these costs are actually very little. A salary man earning $2500 can survive just as well as someone earning twice the amount. The only thing is at what quality of life are you satisfied with? Even then, doubling the amount of money spent does not double the quality of life. Owning a $600,000 house does not mean it is double the quality of a $300,000 house, nor a $1.2 million house is quadruple. The returns diminish. And it's not just the amount we spend that determines the quality. As I stated from the beginning, quality of life is also about the amount of time spent, or care given. Being a multimillionaire and yet having a broken family is a very low quality of life.

It then comes back to what we want in life? Is it greed? The desire for more and more and more just for the sake of having more? Or is it expectations from society? That if someone pays us a very large amount of money that we are indebted to sign our souls over to him?

Posted by Nico at 7:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

If I flip a fair coin 5 times, and 5 times in a row it comes out heads, what are the odds of it coming out heads again?

The answer is 1/2. Past events do not affect the probability at all.

In the same way, what happens in our past doesn't dictate our future. If we have failed over and over again, it doesn't mean we are doomed to failure.

We have just as much opportunity to succeed each day as any other man. It's just the choice we make and what we define as success and failure.

All we have to do, is know that each day our success is to do what we have to do each day. That's all.

For an alcoholic, it's getting through the day sober. For some of us, it's just managing our time. For another, it's negotiating a business deal. For some, just living is a struggle. For a grumpy person, saying words of encouragement is an achievement.

Let's live each day working towards our own individual success each day. Let us pray that God will give us each day our daily bread.

Posted by Nico at 2:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The following is the inspirational story of Jason McElwain. Basketball fans will understand better. This story is one of the things that makes America great.

Posted by Nico at 1:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I'm in between jobs right now. I don't have to go to work at all. Great! Isn't it?

And I've got goals to achieve.

Yet, I don't feel like doing it at times. In fact, I only feel like doing it when it's overdue and I have time constraints. I only feel like doing it less than 20% of the time.

For example, one of my goals is to continue training for my marathon and to get washboard abs. I have the time, I have the facilities (a gym, a swimming pool and a nice park nearby). Yet I don't feel like exercising when I wake up. I have to run 10km every 2-3 days. I have to swim, I have to do sit-ups, crunches, etc. I don't feel like doing these things. Yet I know I must do it.

It's the same with any other goal, whether screenwriting, or programming, or studying, or starting a business. You won't feel like doing it most of the time when you have to do it.

Just accepting this fact is liberating.

When I know I have to do something, yet don't feel like doing it, the fact that it is not uncommon to be in such a situation allows me to do what I need to do.

Posted by Nico at 1:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The only way to live life and to achieve success is to do the right thing, at the right time, in the right way, in the right attitude, for the right reason.

Easy, huh?

Posted by Nico at 12:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

How many times should you try?

Try a thing you haven't tried before three times:

1. Once to get over the fear.
2. Once to find out how to do it.
3. And a third time to find out if you like it or not.

Virgil Thomas.

Posted by Nico at 6:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

You don't have to be the best programmer to be promoted to become a manager of programmers. Though knowledge of programming is good, management is an entirely different ball game altogether.

It's like this. A lot of good football managers were football players, but they weren't the best. Jose Mourinho, case in point. He wasn't a good player at all. But his dad was a good manager.

In fact, being a good player doesn't make you a good manager. Most of the world-cup winning squad of 1966 didn't do too well in other jobs.

My advice to people who want to go up is that you don't need to be very good in the lower level tasks to go into management. Get an MBA or a certified project manager and find people who will hire you into management. You can't wait for your boss to promote you to a position. People skills are a much different skill that accounting or programming, etc.

80% of the success of your career is in your hands. Not your boss.

Posted by Nico at 1:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Concentrate of winning your battle for today. Tomorrow can worry about itself.

Posted by Nico at 1:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

She is an expert player of the Kayageum (Korean Violin) and has released 4 CDs.

She graduated with a Bachelors Degree from Seoul National University.

She knows English, Chinese, Japanese and Ancient Hebrew.

Her father is an elder in her church.

She aspires to be a missionary.

Guess who else is she?

Continue reading "Guess Who This Is?" »

Posted by Nico at 2:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Most decisions must be made beforehand. You cannot wait till that situation comes and then you think about it.

For example, if you haven't decided what time you want to wake up in the morning...

INT. YOUR BEDROOM - 7AM

You are fast asleep on your bed when the alarm clock starts 
blaring its wake up call.

                                YOU
            Hmm... 7am... I wonder whether I can sleep in?
                        (beat)
            I do have to do get my laundry from the washing machine.
                        (beat)
            But this bed feels so nice...
                        (beat)
            ...zzzz...

That is just an innocent example. What would happen if you get in a compromising position of being tempted? A hot beautiful sexy woman appears in your bedroom? You'll probably only have 2 clear seconds to think before other parts of your body start doing your thinking for you.

What happens when you are being stressed? Someone begins to say something that is sure to push your buttons? Again, you may only have a second or two before your emotions start to rush in and take over.

That's one of the reasons why quiet time is important, it prepares you for the decisions both large and small that will come about during the coming days, weeks, months and years ahead. When you read the Bible about Joshua or about Joseph, learn about the principles on which they made their decisions and practice in your mind the same things.

Posted by Nico at 6:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

"...enable your servants to speak your word with boldness." (Acts 4:29)

"...but the righteous are as bold as a lion." (Proverbs 28:1)

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged. For the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9)

Why is it that there are definitely much better singers than Madonna, yet she is the one who is more successful?

I realize that a lot of good, able and competent people don't get ahead, not because they are less skillful but because they aren't bold enough.

We must be bold enough to market ourselves, to sell ourselves, to spread the word about the message of us.

80-90% of adults live with negative self-talk in their minds. Voices that say "you aren't good enough", "you'll screw up again", "you're just lucky that time", etc.

We must be bold in life. The apostles didn't pray that things around them would automagically turn out "happily ever after" rather they prayed for boldness in facing the challenges ahead of them.

Boldness is a mark of the righteous.

But how do we get boldness? Is it a matter of just repeating "I am bold" to myself and hoping you'll believe it enough that your behaviour will change? Maybe that is part of the transformation process.

The Idiot's Guide To Assertiveness doesn't give all the answers to it, but it does give a few pointers:

Know Your Priorities: Know what is important to you. Think through what is really important to your mission in life. Just 3-5 things. Not a laundry list of 19 things.

Respect the position and feelings of the other parties involved. Will your speaking up improve the situation of make it worse?

Remain in balance. You don't have to overreact and cause other people to be knocked off balance.

How? Proceed with malice towards none. Act with concern towards other people not out of hatred or impatience.

When? Make a time check. Ask yourself, "How will I feel about the situation tomorrow, in one hour, or in even five minutes?" If it is something that will pass quickly, you can let it go. Else, then it is good reason for you to speak up.

Use positive self-talk to yourself and on others.

Know who you are. Know your limits. Be optimistic.

Exercises on being self-confident in social situations:
1. Smile at someone you don't know.
2. Focus intently on what another person is saying.
3. Volunteer for something away from work. That way you'll learn that people do appreciate you.
4. Make a minor request from someone you barely know. The more easily you're able to make minor requests of strangers. The more naturally you'll begin to make more significant requests of anyone.
5. Put yourself in a situation where you're likely to be rejected. Ask a friend to attend something which you know there is a low chance of them agreeing to. If so, wonderful. Else, learn to accept the response graciously.
6. When appropriate, tell a person "I'm not sure". Legitimately pleading ignorance helps free you from any potential feelings of always needing to have informative responses.

Posted by Nico at 5:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Why is that?

We think at times, "I can't be a hero... I'm not good at this or that... or I can't..."

Let's read what Christopher Vogler writes in "The Writer's Journey" on a hero.

Interesting flaws humanize a character. We can recognize bits of ourselves in a Hero who is challenged to overcome inner doubts, errors in thinking, guilt or trauma from the past, or fear of the future. Weaknesses, imperfections, quirks, and vices immediately make a Hero or any character more real and appealing. It seems the more neurotic characters are, the more the audience likes them and identifies with them.

Flaws also give a character somewhere to go—the so-called "character arc" in which a character develops from condition A to condition Z through a series of steps. Flaws are a starting point of imperfection or incompleteness from which a character can grow. They may be deficiencies in a character. Perhaps a Hero has no romantic partner, and is looking for the "missing piece" to complete her life. This is often symbolized in fairy tales by having the Hero experience a loss or a death in the family. This subtraction from the family unit sets the nervous energy of the story in motion, not to stop until the balance has been restored by the creation of a new family or the reuniting of the old.

In most modern stories it is the Hero's personality that is being recreated or restored to wholeness. The missing piece may be a critical element of personality such as the ability to love or trust. Heroes may have to overcome some problem such as lack of patience or decisiveness. Audiences love watching Heroes grapple with personality problems and overcome them. Will Edward, the rich but cold-hearted businessman of Pretty Woman, warm up under the influence of the life-loving Vivian and become her Prince Charming? Will Vivian gain some self-respect and escape her life of prostitution? Will Conrad, the guilt-ridden teenager in Ordinary People, regain his lost ability to accept love and intimacy?

So, if you think you're flawed and can't think that God can do anything with you... you may be the hero. Remember heaven is watching you, they're rooting for you. Because of your flaws that makes you an even better hero. And you know what? There are 2 types of heroes. The willing and unwilling ones. both make equally entertaining stories. But the unwilling hero must change at some point, he must become committed to adventure.

Your audience, the saints and angels are rooting for you.

The story function of the Hero is learning or growth. Therefore grow.

The aspect of the hero is that he is always active. Act.

The true mark of the hero is not strength or bravery but SACRIFICE. Die to yourself so that you may gain life. Sacrifice means "making holy".

[Origin: 1225-75; (n.) ME < OF < L sacrificium, equiv. to sacri- (comb. form of sacer holy) + -fic-, comb. form of facere to make, do1 + -ium -ium; (v.) ME sacrifisen, deriv. of the n.]

Posted by Nico at 3:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

13062007327
Originally uploaded by nicodemus_chan.

Posted by Nico at 2:08 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I'm even more impressioned that an essential skill in life is pitching or selling your ideas to other people clearly and succintly.

The pattern in business is that there is one party who has an idea but doesn't have resources and another party who has resources but no idea.

The person with the idea (business, movie, etc) always pitches to the one having the resources.

Even if your daddy is Bill Gates or Donald Trump, you still have to pitch the idea to them. And even if you are Bill Gates, you still have to pitch your idea to your board or vice-presidents.

Pitching is a skill, an art. It is the ability to create a compelling image in the mind of your audience with your words, your voice and your body language. It is an entertainment experience, it creates positive feelings. It is logical. Its purpose is to create a buy-in.

The buy-in could be for any idea, whether it is to go on a holiday, a business start-up idea, a movie idea, a change in direction, etc.

The audience can be anyone and the presentation tailored accordingly using the appropriate language, vocabulary.

The pitch should be entertaining yet have a basic storyline formular of beginning, middle and end, so that the audience doesn't have hanging questions.

Posted by Nico at 1:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Most of us are really very talented, but we underrate ourselves and deny ourselves opportunities by creating mental obstacles.

We say to ourselves we don't deserve something, we were lucky, it was a fluke or something like that.

The reality is that all things in life is really by grace. It is by grace you are born in a prosperous country, it is by grace you have inborn talents, it is by grace that you had parents with connections, it is by grace that you met so-and-so that gave you that break.

Consider that Harrison Ford became the famous actor that he is because of the coincidence/divine appointment of fixing George Lucas's cabinets.

Or that Phil Collins and Genesis got their break because Phil was a cabbie that happened to pick up Richard Branson and invited him for tea at his mom's (even though Branson was busy and needed to go to his destination) and passed him his band's demo tape.

I've heard people exclaim that Martin Yan or Delia Smith's cooking is really too simple. "I can cook better than them!" they say. Yet Martin and Delia took the opportunity to use whatever they had and to go on TV with their talents. They didn't listen to negative self-talk that said that their cooking was too simple or anything like that.

We should not listen to this negative talk. There is a reason for opportunities. It isn't luck. There is a purpose for everything, a divine stage manager behind the scenes orchestrating the stage entry and exits on this world.

Do not despise the day of small beginnings. (Zechariah 4:10)

Posted by Nico at 1:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I realize that after calculating the amount of effort to lose just 8 pounds of fat that it isn't easy. I thought a month would be all it takes, but it seems that you have to really put in 3 times as much effort to do so.

That's good, at least I am obeying Jesus' admonition to calculate your forces to see if you can fight against an greater army or enough resources to build a tower. Sun Tzu repeats it in Art of War that a good general must make many calculations in order to win.

I think that is one of the weaknesses that I must work on, I seem to underestimate the amount of effort needed to accomplish goals.

Just last week, unfortunately, I made my cousin miss her flight back to Penang because I calculated to the minute the exact amount of time needed to get to her gate. I was too used to taking flights to KL, checking in exactly 1/2 hour before the flight takes off and getting to the gate exactly 10 minutes before departure. I cut things too close. Unfortunately, I didn't take into account that:

1. A flight to Penang is different from a KL shuttle flight and needs a earlier check-in time.
2. There was a queue at immigration.
3. She lost her immigration white card and had to fill it in again.

I don't like to waste time waiting yet, ended up wasting even more time.

The lesson learnt here is to take into account other random factors that may get in the way of your obstacles.

We have dreams of building a business into a million dollar company in 3 years. It may take 9 years. Every company has a different schedule. Some companies take 20 years to IPO, others may only take 3. Just keep being faithful, keep plugging on it, receive feedback gratefully, adjust your goals accordingly and keep on improving (kaizen).

Posted by Nico at 11:15 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

They replied, "Let one of us sit at your right and the other at your left in your glory."

"You don't know what you are asking," Jesus said. "Can you drink the cup I drink or be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with?" (Matthew 10:37-38)

The thing about ambition is that we must always calculate carefully whether we are able to handle the pressures that go with the job.

Do you really want to be an entrepreneur, an actor, a boss, a salesman, etc? It isn't a bed of roses. That's what Jesus said. Do we know what we are asking for?

So when we think about what we want to do, do not just consider the rewards but also the price to pay.

Posted by Nico at 1:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

1. Unconscious Self-Assurance. One common attitude shared by such people was the implicit belief that their destiny was in their own hands. They did not doubt their own resources would be sufficient to allow them to determine their fate. In that sense one would call them self-assured, yet at the same time, their egos seem curiously absent; they are not self-centred; their energy is typically not bent on dominating their environment as much as on finding a way to function within it harmoniously.

This attitude occurs when a person no longer sees himself in opposition to the environment, as an individual who insists that his goals, his intentions take precedence over everything else. Instead, he feels a part of whatever goes on around him, and tries to do his best within the system in which he must operate. Paradoxically, this sense of humility—the recognition that one's goals may have to be subordinated to a greater entity, and that to succeed one may have to play by a different set of rules from what one would prefer—is a hallmark of strong people.

A good pilot knows her skills, has confidence in the machine she is flying, and is aware of what actions are required in case of a hurricane, or in case the wings ice over. Therefore she is confident in her ability to cope with whatever weather conditions may arise—not because she will force the plane to obey her will, but because she will be the instrument for matching the properties of the plane to the conditions of the air.

Continue reading "Cheating Chaos" »

Posted by Nico at 3:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

In a previous post, I wrote that planning triumphs over plain perseverence.

However, how do you plan a game of pool?

If we were to plan a game of pool using traditional project plannng techniques, more time would be spent drawing gantt charts, pert charts, detailing force angle calculations etc. And even then it would come to naught with just a stray shot. In theory if you planned a game of pool properly it would only take 9 shots to complete the game.

Only if the person playing the shots were a world class expert would he be able to do so, and even then only 30% of the time.

I observed this phenomenon while playing pool. I realized that there is a high amount of chaos in pool, and the skill varies amongst players. But sooner or later we all manage to pot all the balls.

The secret I believe is to pot one ball at a time and at most think 1-2 shots away but nothing more.

In a highly chaotic situation like life, we must prepare for chaos by living one day at a time. If we were to plan to pot all the balls perfectly in life, i.e. try to plan each day of our lives 5 years away, we would be under tremendous pressure. But the pressure is lifted when we just play one ball at a time.

Jesus said that we shouldn't worry about tomorrow. Yes planning is important, but if we were to worry, it should only be to accomplish what we have to today.

The next lesson I think is to keep on learning from each shot, learn how the balls move with each shot, how different potting situations come up to, the point of impact of the cue, how hard or fast we pot, the angle of impact and predicting where the ball will hit the sides and come up. We will never learn pool just by watching it. We must play it.

In the same way, we must learn to live life not just by watching (though observing other people's success and failures helps us) but also by doing.

The more we practice living life, the more skillful we are in handling the chaotic situations of life.

Life is not just planning but also of adaptation. Maxwell called his law the law of navigation not the law of planning.
Navigation involves both looking at maps and planning your route, logistics, etc. But it also involves adapting to the circumstances of the sea, the wind, the waves and the weather.

Posted by Nico at 9:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls this state of optimal performance "flow".

How do we achieve flow?

1. Skills are needed.
2. There are achievable goals.
3. Rules provide focus of energy and boundaries of control.
4. Quick feedback is evident to the person.
5. We are able to control actions.

Almost any activity can achieve flow, knitting, praying, gardening, walking, even sex!

Flow is the optimal state where the task is neither too simple that it becomes boring, nor too difficult that we become discouraged.

I believe that we must manage our tasks and activities in all areas to be optimal. And managers of other people should attempt to create flow conditions for subordinates. Often workers don't have adequate skills, get none or negative feedback, the goals are unrealistic or rules and guidelines are not clearly communicated or implemented or they are not given authority and power to do their job.

To achieve flow, attention is needed, we should not be distracted by other things in our mind and just concentrate on what is essential. Remember our mind has limited capacity.

Posted by Nico at 1:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

1. Ethos: which is your credibility. You words are more influential if your credibility and credentials are apparent to the audience.
2. Pathos: which is the emotional appeal. Some examples are loyalty, patriotism, and heroism.
3. Logos: which is logic and argument. It uses facts, statistics and other forms of evidence to convince the audience.

A good speaker uses all 3 in various combinations depending on the audience. Obviously speaking to a technical person would use facts, figures, "his language". But speaking to women or decision makers may involve appeals to prestige, ego, pride.

Posted by Nico at 12:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

However, perseverance isn't the whole story to success. Coming from an Anglo Saxon environment, the story of Robert Scott is spun as one of a glorious failure of a hero and of how his team trudged with perseverence and died coming back from the south pole... however John Maxwell turns it around...

Continue reading "Planning Triumphs Over Perseverence" »

Posted by Nico at 8:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Sun Tzu talks of the 5 Factors for Success they are:

1. The Moral Law: Do you have the right cause, the right meaning, the right motivation to engage in your endeavour.
2. The Law of Heaven: Is the environment right, are the market conditions right to do so?
3. The Law of Earth: Do you have enough resources, can you reach your goal? Is it near enough?
4. The Law of Leadership: Do you have the wisdom, the courage, the kindness, the benevolence to do so?
5. The Law of Techniques and Discipline: Do you have the right techniques, the best tools, the best system of organization, and behaviour?

These are the 5 factors that will determine your success or failure. Ignore them at your peril!

Posted by Nico at 12:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Integrity and credibility have practical value quite apart from what they do for your soul. The make decisions easier and bring deals to you.

Learn to distinguish between those things which are only done in a certain way because they have always been done in that way and those things which are done in a certain way because business would be impossible without unwritten rules.

If you learn to work within the system, you are far more likely to get things done than if you set out to pioneer and change the rules.

Cheating the system is neither clever nor heroic.

It may be necessary to go south for a while in order to journey north.

Different games and different suituations have different sets of rules nad sytles of play. Be clear as to what they are.

In a bargaining situation there are subjective values and variable values in addition to the real values.

Psychological tactics will be used on you even if you do not care ot use them on others.

Play the percentages rather than the flashy strokes.

Tactics are never and end in themselves but only serve the long-term goal.

Be prepared to concede things as part of the bargaining and also to move your opponent to ground more favourable to you.

Some situations are win-lose but others are win-win. The other party does not have to lose for you to win.

An unexpected (and even irrational) move can throw the other party.

If you are not getting anywhere, try shifting the perspective or frame.

Decide whether you want to conceal what you are up to, or to make it every clear. Both types of tactics have their merits.

Do not get so fascinated by tactics that the overall purpose is lost from sight.

Posted by Nico at 6:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

If there is a chance to try someone out, that is the best test of all. A short tryout may help with personality, but a real tryout must be long enough to allow the experience of proper pressures.

If your style is to be impresario or circus master of talent, then make this an objective and choose the best people around. If you want to exploit your own ideas, then choose a support team.

Remember that many successful people have depended on a partnership in which the second party has supplied qualities needed for the success of the first party.

In almost all cases a success person needs the support of a good team.

The motivation of others can require a clear definition of roles and goals.

The motivation of others means leading them, involving them, and giving them a sense of achievement. All this requires communication.

The reward of recognition or appreciation is as powerful as more material rewards.

Be definite about criticism but criticize the performance not the performer.

Lead the person to realize his (or her) own failure.

Decide whether a person can do the job for which he or she is employed. Keep that decision separate from the action that may then follow.

Everyone wants to be an individual and at the same time to belong.

In the long run, human values may be good business values. It may seem otherwise at a particular moment in time.

Posted by Nico at 7:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Ther are gamblers who enjoy the gamble and there are 'Broadway Risk' players who know that they will win some and lose some. The important point is to stay in the game.

There are others who try to minimize risk as much as possible because they do not need it since the steady growth of their business will ensure success.

Assessing uncertainties and potential dangers comes under the heading of reasonable expectations. There is a spectrum of risk, and you decide the point at which you become uncomfortable.

Things outside your control can go wrong. Success may then involve extricating yourself from the situation in the best way possible.

Risk and reward may be compared. The downside can be compared to the upside. Such comparisons aid decision-taking.

Both investment and innovation involves risk. Both may be essential. So the emphasis is on risk reduction and reward enhancement.

A sense of adventure may impel successful people to take risks--the risks are then reduced as much as possible.

It seems that sucessful eople like doing things that involve risk but do not like the risk itself--so they seek to reduce this.

Instead of being risk-takers successful people should be considered opportunity-conscious.

Posted by Nico at 6:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The situational needs leadership model shows that we all start out incompetent in any new task.

There is no such thing as automatically being competent in an area immediately. Though natural talent may have some effect of adapting, we all start from zero in the beginning.

We can then take comfort from the fact that we are not 'stupid' in what we do. It just means we have to learn.

However, I often notice that people who are promoted seem to be expected to perform competently immediately in their new role. I have noticed several results of this:

1. They can adapt quickly and learn quickly.
2. They fall back to their previous competencies and neglect to learn the new skills.
3. They cover up incompetencies by using a limited vocabulary: "Do it!" or "Do that!" or "I don't care!"

Truth is important here. We must acknowledge that we are incompetent in so many areas. But grace is even more important. That its alright and that we are all limited in our current knowledge, learning, skills and abilities. Faith plays in part in overcoming in incompetencies because it says that we can learn, we can find a way around our problems.

Posted by Nico at 1:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

With a problem, you look for a solution: with an opportunity, you look for benefits.

The two key things in opportunity assessment are: benefits and feasibility.

There are two sorts of risk in every opportunity: uncertainty about feasibility and uncertainty about benefits.

You can hang back and wait for an opportunity to emerge and then rush in to take advantage of it, but other people will be there too.

The safest sort of opportunity is something already successful that can be copied and made better or cheaper. The market and buying patterns are already in place.

Sometimes an opportunity in the market awaits the development of a concept to turn it into a success.

The simplest form of opportunity is to buy something at less than its value and then to operate or sell it at its true value.

Management and problem-solving are maintenance functions. They are not sufficient in a changing or a competitive world. Conceptual thinking is needed in addition.

There are opportunities that are available to everyone and opportunities that particularly fit your style and resources.

Posted by Nico at 6:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

There is thinking concerned with description, and thinking concerned with action (with getting things done).

Intuition can lead to great successes and it can lead to disasters.

Intuition may represent processes that were once conscious and have now been internalized.

When used for judgment, intuition may be based on experience and aesthetics (for that field) and may provide a complex judgment of many factors, not all of which can be spelled out.

Category thinking can be very valuable. Create your categories and then see if apparent opportunities fit them.

One powerful approach to thinking is to create a map out of information and perceptions and then to find your way about that map.

It can be useful to work with others, but if you are going to be responsible for the idea, then you have to 'design' it.

Different situations require different thinking styles just as in a car you shift gears according to the situation.

Remember that the purpose of thinking is to so arrange the world, in our minds, that our actions and decisions become obvious.

Trust your intuition as you might a friend: on the basis of past experience and a consciousness of human nature.

Posted by Nico at 1:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Believe that you are an active force for good in this world. That you are not a spectator, that you are positioned by God in this world with power and authority, to make his kingdom come, not with weapons of the world but with with firm gentleness, and powerful meekness.

Posted by Nico at 6:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

A strategy provides you with a reason for taking an initiative, for getting moving, for taking action.

A strategy provides you with a long-term view and hence the ability to take risks or do things which do not make sense in the short term.

A strategy provides you with guidelines for making decisions: does this fit my strategy?

There can be a specific strategy, a game plan of the steps you are going to take in order to succeed. This is like the strategy in a particular game of chess.

There can also be a general strategy which consists of guidelines and principles, and this general strategy can be applied to all situations.

Individual style, personality, and judgement can all act as strategies, but do not rely on them unless they are being successful at the moment.

A strategy is not a detailed plan (which you may need as well) but a broad overview.

From time to time spell out your strategy in a conscious and deliberate manner. Be conscious of the changes and alterations you may want to make.

Strategy is not only the manipulation of resources but also the developments of those resources.

Posted by Nico at 7:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Thinking is an operating skill that can be learned; it is not just a matter of intelligence.

A brilliant new idea is not the only--or even the best--route to success.

One of the routes to success is innovation within a field. For deliberate creative effort, try using lateral thinking.

There is the creativity of Innocence and there is the creativity of escape. You can only use the first while you are innocent.

Making an idea work is more difficult and more important htan having the idea in the first place.

The 'logic' of lateral thinking arises form the nature of perception as activity in a self-organizing information universe. Humour is a good parallel.

With provocation there may not be a reason for saying something until after it has been said. The provocation does not fit in with existing perceptions but is used to lead us to new perceptions.

In lateral thinking we use 'movement' rather than judgment. We use movement to move on from a provocation to a new perception or concept.

Shifting perspective and frames of reference can lead to new ideas and insights.

Having to react continually to immediate pressures and problems makes creative thinking difficult (except in solving those problems).

Lateral thinking should be treated as a routine part of our thinking equipment.

Look at any area with a traditional high profit margin and apply the innovative thinking tha has probably been lacking in that area.

Posted by Nico at 11:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

There are clearly certain fields in which it is far easier to be successful than in others. There are also fields in which a moderate talent plus hard work will succeed, whereas in others a higher degre of natural talent is required. These are facts of life.

Most successful people do not seem to have selected carefully their field of endevour--that is no reason not to do this.

There is no stigma attached to changing fields, careers, or targets. Many successful people have done just this.

People contacts are extremely important (not what you know but who you know).

The ability to spot an opportunity when it is only a glimmer or a casual remark is very important. So is the ability to take action on that opportunity.

Unusual combination of skills and experience can be important, because there will be little competition in such areas.

In many fields credibility is the major asset.

For many successful people, the first step has been a partnership with someone else.

Moderate success can also be a trap if you are interested in greater success.

Difficult challenges are worth taking on if the elements involved are within your control. If they are not, you may be wasting your time.

You can always define your challenge for yourself.

Posted by Nico at 6:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The purpose of self-examination is to offer tentative perceptions, not dogmatic explanations.

It is useful to become aware of your personal style.

It is useful to become aware, in a realistic fashion, of your limitations, so long as they do not hereafter become an excuse.

It is useful to look for blocks and weaknesses in order to try to put them right.

If you take your personality apart, there is no guarantee that what comes together again will be an improvement.

Always leave enough of you unanalyzed so that this can carry out the analysis on the remainder.

Remember that analysis into component parts may destroy values that arise only from the whole.

Posted by Nico at 6:59 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Note that a key factor such as ambition, persistence, or stamina can energize all the other faculties you may have. See if there is within your make-up a 'drive' of this sort. Build it up and build on it.

Probably the most important factor is 'expectation'. This can be within your environment or within your mind as your 'self-image'. The notion is that success should be just as much part of your expecation of life as getting married and having children. If you are a parent, such expectation is the most important thing you can provide for your children. The expectations is that an individual can work toward success--not that success will be provided as of right.

Move to an environment which is success-oriented.

Keep and polish certain key images on which to build your style.

Trying to be someone else won't work, and it will ruin your own natural style, which is based on your own qualities.

Important lessons and strategies can be learned from the behaviour of others and then be incorporated into your own style.

Acting out a deliberate role in certain circumstances and for a limited time can be a useful strategy. It can be especially useful to overcome some basic deficiencies.

There is nothing wrong with artificial training provided it is pursued to the point where it becomes natural.

Some aspects of man are improved by digging deeper into the inner self (emotions and temperament), but other aspects are improved by moving in the opposite direction towards role models and manners.

Before a role has been learned well, there is always a difficult time when it works so badly that it is usually abandoned. The problem is to decide whether to persist with it or to abandon it.

Don't wait for the right place and timing to happen to you, but be sensitve to place and timing, and plant the right seed at the right time in the right spot.

Posted by Nico at 12:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Motivation seems to be a natural part of the expectation and self-image of the successful person. Be positive and cultivate such an expectation. Expect to succeed.

Use and set challenges in order to have a specific focus.

Use anxieties in order to push yourself forward rather than to hold yourself back.

Do not use money as an end in itself but as the method of play in the game of success (at least one type of success).

If you do not enjoy making things happen, you should reconsider whether you want only the end-point of success (and what goes with it) or the process of getting there. If you only want the end-point, then forget it--unless you can find a way of getting there quickly.

If your own motivation is insufficient, then marry someone who can push you along.

Posted by Nico at 1:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I truly believe that there is no problem that has no solution. If there is no solution, then we shouldn't worry or get upset over it.

The way to solve a problem is to find a solution and implement it.

A good leader is a problem solver, he doesn't let problems continue to vex him.

Unfortunately a lot of us are upset over problems when they come, we lament, we hate them, we grumble over them.

That will not solve it.

Rather, let's take a page from the Bible 1 Thess 5:18 "give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus".

Welcome problems, see it as a way to prevent further bigger problems down the road.

The one thing that I have learnt is that people sometimes don't want to hear the solution. If you are overweight, the solution is to diet and to exercise. If you are having problems with money, the solution is to work out a budget and to stick to it. If you have problems with motivation, read up books on motivation and learn techniques.

Life isn't easy. Noone said it was. Jesus said that in this world you will have trouble. Sometimes it isn't solved overnight, but He did promise that He will be with us through it all.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)

Posted by Nico at 3:36 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Try to determine your own style even to the point of verbalizing it or writing it down on paper. You might even ask your colleagues how they would describe your style. Do not always believe what they say. Do not be trapped by this assessment of your style.

Build up the strong points of your style rather than try to alter it to a completely different style.

Use your style as a way of making decisions, plans, and choices. Does this fit my style?

Be aware of any deficiency in your style, but don't be cowed by this or use it as an excuse.

Choose the circumstances that best suit your style.

Be bold, be confident, be egocentric, but do not expect me to tell you how.

Use your failure as the shadow that gives dimension to the picture.

An inflated balloon is vulnerable, but that is the only way it is going to fly.

Posted by Nico at 10:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Knowing what you want to do, determination, and persistence are important. You may have these qualities by temperament or as a strategy.

Make the most of your talent and do not expect it to be enough by itself. Do not be trapped into one field by some talent for that field.

In some fields it is just easier to be successful than in others. The "me-too" and bandwagon effect has always been powerful, so try to choose not only an opportunity field but preferably a growing one.

Posted by Nico at 7:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The first is the passive attitude, which tells you that there is nothing you can do except wait for luck and pray for the right talent and temperament.

The second is the positive attitude, which tells you that there are things that you can do that will make a difference.

Posted by Nico at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

1. Decide exactly what you want in a specific area and write it down clearly, in detail. Make it measurable and specific.
2. Set a deadline for achievement of the goal. If it is a large goal, break it down into smaller parts and set sub-deadlines.
3. Make a list of everything that you will have to do to achieve this goal. As you think of new items, add them to your list until it is complete.
4. Organize your list of action steps into a plan. A plan is organized on the basis of two elements, priority and sequence.
5. Identify the obstacles or limitations that might hold you back from achieving your goal, both in the situation and within yourself. Ask yourself, “Why have I not achieved this goal already?”
   
   Identify the most important constraint or limitation that is holding you back, and then focus on removing that obstacle. It could be a certain amount of money or a key resource. It could be an additional skill or habit that you need. It could be additional information you require. It could be the help or assistance of one or more people. Whatever it is, identify it clearly and go to work to eliminate it.
6. Once you have determined your goal, developed your plan, and identified your major obstacle, immediately take action of some kind toward the achievement of your goal. Step out in faith. Do the first thing that comes to mind. But do something to start the process of goal attainment moving forward.
7. Do something every day that moves you toward your most important goal. Make a habit of getting up each morning, planning your day, and then doing something, anything, that moves you at least one step closer to what is most important to you.

Posted by Nico at 8:08 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

There is also what we might call the urgency of laziness. This is an apparent paradox, for laziness and urgency would seem to be exact opposites. In practice, however, laziness can be a powerful spur to thought. This point is neatly made by Dr Nathan Kline: "I always try to do things the simplest way. And I think laziness is a virtue. If you have to get your work done and you're lazy, you'll find a better way to do it and one that requires less effort and time, so laziness is a virtue when you combine it with enough compulsiveness to be sure you get there."

Posted by Nico at 8:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

This book is struck a chord in me from the very first chapter which gives testimonials of people who struggled against fear and psychological programming instilled from the upbringing or environment. I learnt that we all struggle against this fear to ask for help, for assistance, for favours.

Here are my thoughts and how I relate it to other knowledge.

There is a seeming paradox in life that we have to reconcile. The book of James advises us not to ask with selfish motives, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't ask! Jesus said "Ask and it shall be given you."

We grow from dependency to independence. But independence isn't the end of the journey. Covey writes in his 7 Habits book that the next step is inter-dependency. And asking is the key to inter-dependency. It means that even though we are indenpendent persons, we are still part of a whole framework, a system and network of people that help one another.

Adler writes that most of us grow up with an inferiority complex. In fact, we all do. However, Christ says "All authority in heaven and earth has been given to me." With God on our side, who can be against us?

Ask, ask, ask, and ask.

Read the first few chapters of this book, after that you can skim through the advice given. It is filled with a lot of testimonials which you can skim through. Recognize the barriers and practise asking. Believe that you can have anything that you want.

The message in the book is good, just filled with too many examples. It could have been condensed to 1/3 of its size.

The extended entry provides a list of topics covered.

Continue reading "The Aladdin Factor" »

Posted by Nico at 8:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Your greatest asset isn't your car or your house or stocks, fixed deposits, etc.

Your greatest asset is you.

What are you doing to improve yourself? What are you doing to increase your value?

Are you taking care of yourself?

Do you constantly take courses, or go for classes?

Are you getting enough rest and exercise? Are you eating right?

Are you building up and enhancing your reputation, creating a good name for yourself, or as accountants call it creating "goodwill" for yourself.

Posted by Nico at 10:42 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

6. The Law of Solid Ground. This law means that when you make action and decisions, you must get the support of the leaders behind you. Just because a decision is right, isn't just enough, you must have their trust before you do so. The 3 C's: Competence, Connection, and Character are important. Be honest, don't hide facts. Cast your vision, answer their questions and guide them through decisions. Live your values everyday, not just when you feel like it.
7. The Law of Respect. The stronger your leadership, the more they will respect you, the more they will follow you. Strength is commitment to your values. Your decision to hold on to principles.
8. The Law of Intuition. Leaders see everything in terms of using their resources to achieve goals. They read their situation, the trends, the resources, people, and themselves. It is an art that is developed.
9. The Law of Magnetism: A leader attracts people who are like minded. Your attitude attracts people of the same attitude, age, background, values, ability and life experience. If you want to attract people better, you have to improve yourself, get the experience of people you want in your team.
10. The Law of the Connection: First win the heart, then the only their head. Connect with them, have meals with them, joke with them, know their names, their wives, kids. Be a friend with them.

Posted by Nico at 7:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Success is a contextual value, having different definitions according the person, the time, and the circumstances.

In perhaps 80-95% of cases, our success is dependent on other people or rather our ability to get other people to provide the resources like time, money, information, wisdom, assistance, prestige, to achieve our goals.

When it comes to other people, we then need to have influence. And influence is leadership.

Perhaps, when I grew up I didn't understand what leadership is. But after understanding first that we have an underlying purpose in our lives, a goal to achieve, then leadership comes into the picture. Leadership is not a measure of our success. A person who's idea of success is living like a hermit on top of a mountain would not need leadership skills. But when it comes to achieving a success that involves the effort and resources of more than one person then leadership is needed.

Maxwell's 21 laws provides insight to what leadership is, through stories he illustrates principles that affect leadership and who the true leader is.

Most leadership books assume that you are the positional leader. E.g. the newly promoted manager, the CEO, the CG leader. And it then teaches you how to use that position or how group dynamics work, etc. Maxwell says that these leadership books aren't leadership books at all. They're actually management books.

Leadership is influence.

Maxwell's 21 Laws of Leadership in my own words:

1. The Law of the Lid. This means that your leadership affects how much you can achieve. Ability to lead determines the degree of success in your endeavours.


2. The Law of Influence. This means that leadership is influence. No matter what your positional power is. If you cannot get people to follow you, you're just going for a walk.


3. The Law of Process. This means that it must be learnt and practices. When people confer to you a title, you don't really become a leader. Leadership is practised daily. A title just means that someone finally recognises your leadership ability.


4. The Law of Navigation. You must plan ahead to handle obstacles. Excellence in gathering your resources and mapping your way through treacherous obstacles, whether social, psychic, materially, spiritually, politically.


5. The Law of E.F. Hutton. This means that it isn't just the content of what you say that matters, it's who you are that matters even more. (Who is E.F. Hutton? Forget about E.F. Hutton. It's just something that means more to an American who has seen an insurance ad.) People listen to you because of who you are. Or to be more precise, your character, your relationships, your prestige, your credibility, your links, your track record, your knowledge and abilities.

To be continued...

Note: Every word that we say matters in life. Especially off the cuff. I've been influenced just as much by off-the-cuff remarks as well as by formal speeches and talks. As the Bible says, we are accountable for every word that we say.

Posted by Nico at 10:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

All you are or ever shall become is the result of the use to which you put your mind.

Success in this world is always a matter of individual effort, yet you will only be deceiving yourself if you believe that you can succeed without the coperation of other people. Success is a matter of individual effort only to the extent that each person must decide, in his or her own mind, what is wanted. This involves the use of imagination. From this point on, achieving success is a matter of skillfully and tactfully inducing others to cooperate.

You may not like the work in which you are now engaged. There are two ways of getting out of that work.

1. One way is to take little interest in it and do just enough to get by. Very soon you will find a way out, because the demand for your services will cease.
2. The other and better way is by makng yourself so useful and efficient in what you are now doing that you will attract the favourable attention of those who have the power to promote you into more responsible work that is more to your liking.

One of the greatest problems of life, if not in fact the greatest, is that of learning the art of harmonious negotiation with others.

No man has a chance to enjoy permanent success until he begins to look in a mirror for the real cause of all his mistakes.

1. The Master Mind
2. A Definite Chief Aim
3. Self-Confidence
4. The Habit of Saving
5. Initiative & Leadership
6. Imagination
7. Enthusiasm
8. Self-Control
9. The Habit of Doing More Than Paid For
10. A Pleasing Personality
11. Accurate Thinking
12. Concentration
13. Cooperation
14. Profiting by Failure
15. Tolerance
16. Practicing the Golden Rule
17. Universal Law

Continue reading "Napoleon Hill's 17 Laws of Success" »

Posted by Nico at 10:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Winners practice Positive Self-Projection. They project their best selves every day in the way they look, walk, talk, listen, and react.

They specialize in truly effective communication, taking on 100% of the responsibility not only for sending information or telling, but also for receiving information or listening for the real meaning from every person they contact.

Winners are aware that first impressions are powerful, and that interpersonal relationships can be won or lost in about the first four minutes of conversation.

Winners say "I'll make them glad they talked with me."

To a Winner you'll say "I like me best when I'm with you." Nothing marks a Winner so clearly as a relaxed smile and a warm face that volunteers his or her own name, while extending a hand to yours, looking directly in your eyes, and showing interest in you by asking questions about your life which are important to you.

Winners know that paying value to others is the greatest communciation skill of all. A Winner's self-talk: "Tell me what you want, maybe we can work on it together." Losers say: "There's no point in discussing it, we're not even on the same wave length."

Continue reading "The Psychology Of Winning: Positive Self-Projection" »

Posted by Nico at 12:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

We spend our lives building our reputation and name.

That is what certificates, diplomas and degrees are for.

You could jolly well be disciplined enough to study, memorize and practise some discipline, however, without that piece of paper you can't convince others strongly enough to give you that job or to give you that salary level or persuade people for anything for that matter.

The diploma or degree is a communication tool that sums up a few years of study into a glance.

However, a diploma or degree is not necessary if you have other ways to build up your reputation.

Warren Buffett when he took over Salomon Brothers sweated about the requirement to take a securities exam that all heads of must take. He kept on delaying taking the exam when he was interim CEO of Salomon until he could step down.

A man like Warren Buffett doesn't need to pass an exam for him to influence people and markets. Bill Gates didn't need an MBA to be the CEO of one of the most successful companies in the world. Neither did Steven Spielberg need one in film-making to command the ears of studios (though he did get one a few years back to set a good example. He submitted "Schindler's List" as his student project. I doubt the professors would have failed him. :)

Therefore, your resume is your second degree. It is the second piece of paper--your secondary degree, if you may put it--that you are perpetually adding to. It is the summary of your lifelong learning experience. And in cases, it can be much more powerful than a degree, masters or a Phd.

But is a degree important? I would say so, because it jumpstarts your progress in building your reputation. It compresses your learning and provides a kind of seal of approval. Something like a PSB grade. But if you don't have one, there are other ways to build reputation. We should not look at that piece of paper as the standard of our worth, those who have would be prideful, and those without would look down on themselves. And then go around thinking that just because you don't have a degree you cannot achieve something or because you have one you are entitled to certain rights and salary levels.

Somehow, when you realize your own true worth, you will be able to communicate it in the way you talk, walk, and behave.

Thoughts to ponder:

• It all starts first in life by realizing your own worth, your unique abilities and your strengths--your purpose in life. Then the diplomas, degrees, awards and accolades will come.
• A corruption of this is that the point of it all is "to make money", "to be better than you fellow man".

Posted by Nico at 12:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

A goal is a "mental projection of something we wish to achieve within a given period of time."

It is important to differentiate between a 'result' goal (winning the league) and a 'process' goal (measurement of strength, fitness, speed, etc).

We must have learning goals: "What are you going to learn today? What are your concrete learning goals other than that you'll just go out and train?"

Differentiate between:

• Security goals
• Realistic goals
• Barrier-breaking goals

Continue reading "Goal Setting" »

Posted by Nico at 11:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Posted by Nico at 10:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

One of the problems in life that we get into is the vicious cycle of depression.

The problem with the cycle is this, you are unsuccessful, you get depressed. Because you are depressed you don't attempt to reach your goals fully. And because of that, you get poor results. And the cycle continues.

Conversely, the virtuous cycle is one where success breeds success. You attempt something, you are successful, you become more confident, and your next effort is easier, you do better, you do it more enthusiastically, there will be people who will even help you. Because of that, you get even more success!

So what do we do if we're stuck in the vicious cycle?

The magic word is: "Perhaps".

Set small goals for yourself, and then say, "perhaps if I do this", "perhaps if I try it differently" by doing so you will be getting yourself into the virtuous cycle.

Don't give up. Your faith will reward you. Hope and faith work together.

And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought, "If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed." Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.

(Mark 5:25-29)

Posted by Nico at 12:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

In your personal finances, besides, rent, groceries, living expenses, tithes and offerings, make sure you budget in education.

Spend a certain amount on self-improvement like language courses, music lessons, dance lessons, rock-climbing, fencing, kendo, business classes or what-not.

We must improve each year despite our heavy schedules.

Posted by Nico at 10:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The thing is, what kind of story are you living, what do you believe your story is like?

If you believe your life is a tragedy, you will script the events and the actions that you take to be a tragedy, you subconscious mind will look for people to audition to be villains in your life story. You will choose events, activities, and actions that will fulfill your story.

On the other hand, if you believe that life is one of success, then you will begin associating yourself with successful people and put yourself in situations where you will be succesful. You will cast people in your life that will support your role as a success story.

But what if your life has events that would be a tragedy?

The movie "Life is Beautiful" shows how you can turn it around. The protagonist, made his life into a romantic comedy even in the darkest times, even in the valley of the shadow of death he could turn it into comic relief.

So, no matter what, make life beautiful.

Posted by Nico at 12:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Winners realize they personally have the power to take control of many more aspects of their lives, both mental and physical, than were heretofore thought possible. They know that barring organic damage or congenital faults, self-control is the key to both mental and physical health and can contribute enormously to total well-being.

Losers say: "I can't understand why life did this to me."

Winners say: "I take the credit or the blame for my performance."

Instead of biorhythm computers, astrological signs, gurus, cults, and the government--YOU take the credit for determining, creating, making your own place in this world.

You're in the driver's seat in your own life. In many respects, you've exerted control since you were born and cried for milk and a dry diaper.

You can learn how to respond and adapt more successfully to the stresses of life by accepting responsibility today for causing your own effects.

You alone hold the key to your reactions to people who want to rain on your parades.

Remember, it's not so much "what happens" that counts in life; it's "how you take it."

The real essence of Positive Self-Control is that everything in life is volitional and that each of us has many more choices and alternatives than we are willing to consider.

We even have control over body functions that we thought were purely involuntary.

Winners do make it happen for themselves.

Continue reading "The Psychology of Winning: Positive Self-Control" »

Posted by Nico at 10:18 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

• Earn $1,000,000.
• Get $5M in funding.
• Launch product by August 8, 2006.
• Get Associate Project Manager Certification. (mental goal)
• Be a toastmaster. (mental/social goal as well)

Posted by Nico at 12:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

One barrier to change that I encountered was the thought that if I do change, people will think what's wrong with me. That I'm weird, that I'm faking success, that I'm being a sham or something like that.

But the thing is change can be done in an instant. Because a decision is a binary choice, either you do choose to change or you choose not to change. There isn't a half-success and half-failure choice. Either you choose continual success or remain mediocre.

Once you have made your choice, you next align your patterns of thought and behaviour towards your choice. This is where it appears to people that you have made a half-choice. No, you made a full choice, it's just that it takes time to steer your habits towards it.

The thing is, you can actually accellerate your changes of what you want from years to months to weeks to days to even minutes when you imagine how you will think, walk, behave, talk and make decisions.

It's not faking it, it's being it.

This is how method actors put on their best performances, they aren't just acting it, they are it, and they did the change in an instant.

For some who complain that it isn't them, they are right, because they haven't made the choice to be a new person, they want to remain the same person as before. They've only agreed that it's good to be a new person but not made the decision to be that new person.

It's just like a person who agrees that some product is good but still doesn't buy it. They may know it's good, even intellectually and emotionally, but as long as they didn't make the decision to shell out the cash for it, they will never own it nor know its benefits.

Jesus said:

"The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.

Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it."

(Matthew 13:44-46)

Are we willing to sell away our old self, to give up all that we are yesterday and become what God intended us to be?

We each go through change everyday, except for a lot of us it isn't seen easily with the naked eye. The person we are today isn't the same yesterday, we have new thoughts, new ideas, new actions made by us everyday. LIke the Zen proverb, "You cannot cross the same river twice."

Posted by Nico at 12:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

This is the day when your goal setting starts hitting the wall.

Needed to push myself out of bed. Didn't have a good reason in my brain to get out. The only thought that got me out was that I needed to jog to get my blood rushing through my veins.

Therefore, sometimes it isn't when we have no reason or meaning to motivate us that we have no reason, it's just that we've forgotten it.

Whilst jogging, I kept going over my mind, that my day hasn't come yet. That all of this that I'm going through is preparation for some special thing that He has waiting for me, even my struggles can be used by Him for me to encourage and teach others.

Mental and vocational goals are just like physical goals. You start out in the beginning with enthusiasm, but then your body starts complaining and you forget what is the reason you started doing this.

Remember, everything has a logos associated with it. Anything and everything can be used by the one great Logos for His purpose.

Posted by Nico at 1:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)